


The Internet is For Porn

by PetrichorPerfume



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bad Parenting, Castiel is Jack Kline's Parent, Cluelessness, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Dean Winchester is Jack Kline's Parent, Handcuffs, Jack being Jack, Jack being clueless, M/M, Punishment, Quote: I learned that from the pizza man. (Supernatural), Spanking, The Pizza Man (Supernatural), and cats, the internet is for porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-17
Updated: 2019-11-17
Packaged: 2021-02-08 04:53:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21470359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PetrichorPerfume/pseuds/PetrichorPerfume
Summary: Jack walks in on Dean spanking Castiel, and gets the wrong idea. He thinks the angel is being punished for everything he'd done wrong, and speaks his mind about corporal punishment.Castiel is all, 'Dean, let me up so I can deal with our kid.'Dean is practically speechless, and at the end of it all, Jack will probably need to go to Sam to get a proper education in such matters in order to avoid being traumatized by the internet, which is not for cats after all.
Relationships: Castiel & Jack Kline & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 137





	The Internet is For Porn

**Author's Note:**

> Um... Mostly crack. Let me know if you enjoyed!
> 
> Prompt found here: https://spnkink-meme.livejournal.com/154550.html?thread=47207350#t47207350
> 
> "Jack walks in on Dean with Cas cuffed and over Dean’s knees, getting spanked. They’re both clothed, but Jack gets completely the wrong idea."

The sounds coming from Dean’s room were unusual, to say the least. Jack typically found unusual occurrences to be of the upmost interest, especially when they happened around the Bunker. He felt it was part of his duty as part of the family to keep watch over its occupants and stop any suspicious happenings in their tracks.

There had, unfortunately, been any number of such suspicious happenings over the past couple of weeks.

He’d noticed that Dean had changed. Something about him – his soul, his smile, his everything – seemed lighter. And yet there was something dark lingering, especially when it came to Cas. His voice would get an octave lower when he spoke to the angel, and he’d often found Dean’s hands slipping from Castiel’s wrists on one too many occasions the moment he glanced their way. Sometimes, he’d even heard some sort of low, growling noise from his room, usually just before he or Castiel slipped out to get snacks.

It was no secret to him that they were very much in love. That, he had seen in Castiel’s being the moment he had chosen him as his father, forsaking Lucifer for a much wiser, kinder angel.

And though Dean and Jack had never quite seen eye-to-eye on, well, anything, Jack was determined to get to the bottom of whatever was happening between his fathers.

***

Castiel was very much enjoying himself, cuffed as he was, spread across Dean’s lap with just his shirt and trousers. His tie, too, but only because Dean had a fetish for it. But everything else was gone, and he felt as unrobed as he would have completely naked.

Dean, of course, was wearing his usual plaid-plus-jeans attire. The shirt was forest green, which was Castiel’s favorite color. He couldn’t see it from where he was, but its mere presence reassured him as another hit came down on his already tender, smarting backside. It hurt so good, and he let out a sound that was half pleasure, half pain.

“So,” said a very unhappy, very unwelcome voice that was definitely not Dean’s.

Dean’s hand stilled, and Castiel’s body went tense.

“Is Castiel being punished?” Jack’s voice sounded once more.

A very nervous, frustrated, and aroused Dean made a noise that was half surprise and half bewilderment. “Jack, this isn’t what it looks like...”

“Isn’t it?” Jack mused. “Because it seems to me that you are using corporeal punishment to pay retribution unto Cas for what he has done to you in the past.” He folded his arms and leaned against their wall in a move that he’d seen practiced in literally tens of movies.

“Dean, let me up,” Castiel’s voice came, muffled though it was by the comforter.

“Um-” Dean made another strange, gutteral sound. “This really isn’t what it looks like,” he repeated.

“Damn it, Dean,” Cas cursed. It wasn’t like him, and Jack frowned.

“Are you cursing because you are angry at Dean for hurting you or because he reminds you too much of Grandfather?”

This time, it was Castiel’s turn to make a broken-sounding noise. “Jack-” He growled. He tried to wiggle free of his restraints. Thankfully, Dean had regained enough of his composure to undo the safety latch of his handcuffs.

“This _really, really_ isn’t what it looks like,” Dean said. It seemed to have been all he was reduced to saying.

“Let me deal with this,” Castiel sighed. “Jack,” he said, rising and making a placating gesture with his hands. He looked so small without his trenchcoat, and Jack pressed his lips in a tight line as Cas began to explain. “Sometimes, when two people really, really love each other, they...” He floundered, looking for the right word for what he and Dean had just been doing.

“Kiss and hold hands?” Jack suggested.

“Yes, yes,” Castiel said, thankful for the suggestion. “And more.”

“Like when the guy and the girl go into the car and the windows get all steamy and the camera zooms out?”

Dean choked on his own laughter, but at a glare from Cas, he quieted down.

“In real life, the camera doesn’t really zoom out. And it’s not always a man and a woman, you know.”

Jack huffed. “I know that. I still don’t understand why you were over Dean’s knee getting spanked or what the movies have to do this it-”

Castiel interrupted him. “Sometimes, even when the babysitter has done nothing wrong, she still likes to get spanked by the pizza man.”

This time, Dean roared in laughter.

“So... You were having sex?”

The bluntness of this question surprised everyone save for Jack. Dean quickly sobered up, and Castiel frowned.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this please do us all a favor and go watch some pornography,” the angel said. “I promise it makes everything so much clearer.”

“But what is porn-o-grap-hy?” Jack asked, sounding out the word. He leaned forward, conspiratorially. “And where do I find it?”

“Back in my day, we used to watch it on TV,” Castiel said, earning himself another round of laughter from Dean. “But now everyone says the Internet is for porn.”

“I thought it was for cats,” Jack said, but Cas was already ushering him out of their room.

“But Cas-” He pounded on their door, frustrated and confused.

“Internet,” Cas said through the door. “Now.”

“Fine,” Jack groaned. “I’ll come back in a while to tell you what I’ve learned.”

“Please don’t,” Dean struggled to say despite another fit of laughter. His eyes gleamed once he could finally stop laughing. “You are getting spanked so hard for that.”

“What did I do?” Castiel asked.

“Nothing,” Dean said, smirking. “But sometimes, even when the babysitter has done nothing wrong, she still likes getting spanked by the pizza man.”


End file.
